Why I haven’t seen Shoot ‘Em Up yet

Here’s a thought that occurred to me the other day. Ultra-violence in mainstream films is over. Done. I even have an extended, not-really-apt-at-all analogy to prove it.

Let’s say, for example, that we wanted to compare making crazy, bloody, knowing self parody action movies is to black comedians making jokes about how white people are different than black people. I know, I know- you’re surprised you didn’t think of this comparison on your own.

This makes Richard Pryor akin to Quentin Tarantino, in that they both got really famous for doing it first, with the breakthrough “That Nigger’s Crazy” album and Reservior Dogs, respectively.

Naturally each art form also has it’s more financially successful, not quite as good front runner in Eddie Murphy and Robert Rodriguez.

And recently, both have had daring, stylistic newcomers who made unprecedented sorts of money by doing something new and fresh: Dave Chappelle and Zack Snyder, the director of 300.

But then, both things reached the point where it’s just getting annoying, which iswhy contemplating seeing Shoot ‘Em Up is like flipping by comedy Central and seeing Eddie Griffin doing his pedestrian, tired white people versus black people shtick. Or maybe like any of the Wayans brothers (There you go- Shoot 'Em Up is the equivalent of White Chicks! My genius remains unparalleled!). It’s over, it’s done. We’ve had enough.

It’s even to the point where the former greats of both particular spheres put out nothing but flops, as evidenced both by Eddie Murphy’s recently losing streak (except for Norbit. Sigh.), and Tarantino and Rodriguez’s flailing Grindhouse. We’ve had enough.

I probably spent way too much time trying to make this comparison work. Hey, it’s Saturday. So I just can’t muster up the energy to go see Shoot ‘Em Up, because who cares at this point. It's funny how the interest in violence can wane over six months, but honestly: according to Entertainment Weekly, 18,712 people died in a movie this summer. So all those gunshots are pretty passe for me at this point, Clive Owen or no Clive Owen.