Random News!

So it's only been a month, but 25 posts in I have a new respect for daily columnists: finding something to talk about every day is a bitch. Even Dear Abby must eventually just want to tell the eight thousandth woman who hates her mother-in-law to cram it.

So while some ideas brew, a few recent newsworthy issues:

1. Warner Brothers nixes female lead roles. This has since been strenuously denied, which makes sense because it's hyperbolically ridiculous. The Brave One does bad, so it must be because female-oriented films aren't profitable? What? I thought it might have done poorly because our long national-love affair with movies that begin with violent murder and rape is over.

If this is confirmed, I would even have to agree with a Warner Brothers boycott. (uh, except for The Dark Knight. I'm only human).

2. The Hobbit gets kinda sorta maybe eventually perhaps closer to being considered to be made. Entertainment Weekly arrived for me today with a picture of Gollum on the front and a blaring headline; "RETURN OF THE RINGS?"

Don't get people's hopes up, dammit. The court fining New Line cinema $125,000 for failing to turn up evidence doesn't really seem like a breakthrough to me. If it turns out to be a snowflake that starts an avalanche, that's just great. But let's not get too excited.

3. The Rock = funnier than Ben Stiller. Hey, both The Heartbreak Kid and The Seeker tanked. I think I may go out and celebrate.

Across the Universe Review

I was torn about seeing Julie Taymor's new film. I love the Beatles, but traditionally dislike musicals. I'm definitely a Taymor fan, but there were multiple rumors of studio interference with her vision.

Finally, since Taymor said they reached a compromise, and since there was nothing else out this weekend but Across the Universe was surprisingly playing in a theater in the next county (Ozaukee), I decided to see it. And it was pretty awesome.

Fair warning: it has no plot, really, it's cheesy beyond belief in places, other parts are way overdone, but I expected all this, and the winning Beatles songs are right up my alley. It's like Moulin Rouge with all Beatles songs, or more like Rent with all Beatles songs (since most of it is set in Bohemian New York).

A liverpudlian named Jude (Jim Sturgess) comes to the great US of A and meets a girl named Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood). Get it? Their friends are named Sadie, Max, Jojo, and Prudence. (Get it? Pretty clever, huh?) This leads to an inevitable anticipation of each character's eponymous songs, and they all pop up except for "Sexy Sadie" and "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" (although I suspect those will be in the director's extended edition).

While the simple melodrama of the plot plays out, characters occasionally just burst into song regular-musical style, but other times they sing to the accompaniment of trippy, classic Taymor colorful setpieces. It may be distracting, but come one people: one of those setpieces is Bono as a psychedlic guru singing "I Am the Walrus," and another is a devilish Eddie Izzard (!) madcapping his way through "Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite." It doesn't get any awesomer than that.

I suppose it is a little odd that Beatles music is now such an ingrained part of the cultural wallpaper that it inspires trippy movies and entire Cirque de Soleil productions, but they still maintain their immediacy and pop-song appeal. At least to me they do (people are either Lennon-revolutionaries or laid-back happy song McCartneys, I find, and I'm definitely the latter). And for the most part I didn't mind the reworkings of all of the fab four's oeuvre, except for one rendition of "Blackbird" that Wood (or the person singing for her) absolutely butchered.

So if you're a Beatles fan at heart, definitely go see it. I for some reason always find Evan Rachel Wood completely insufferable (same thing with Toni Collette. Can't explain it.) but I had a great time.

When to See It: Before it leaves theaters

Hotel Chevalier

So in lieu of The Darjeeling Limited itself, yesterday I downloaded Hotel Chevalier, the thirteen minute prologue to it, of sorts. It's free on iTunes.

Obviously, it's not much of a film on its own- I thought of it sort of like an appetizer, a digital precursor to keep us going until the film reaches our respective towns.

And for what it is, it works- Wes Anderson is better at tortured father-son dynamics and family issues in general than tortured relationships, as the awkwardness between Natalie Portman and Jason Schwartzman indicates. But the colors in room 403 of the eponymous hotel are well coordinated, and there's as ever a cool song: "Where Do You Go To (My Lovely)," by Peter Sarstedt.

But even if this were crappy, I still think it's an innovative way to generate interest- The best trailers, in my opinion, are the ones that just show part of the film (like this one for The Devil Wears Prada), so a short film that accompanies the movie is even better.

And if you're not familiar with Wes Anderson movies at all, it would be a great litmus test for you, since it contains the sort of artificial detachment that people tend to find insufferable, as well as the music and artfully framed shots that people like.

Box Office Trends: September

So for some reason, people always seem to be obsessed with comparing the box office numbers of this year to other years, as if that's somehow relevant. Box Office Mojo, one of my favorite resources/time wasters, always makes it a point to say whether business is up or down from the same weekend last year- because we all know the third weekend in September never changes in national movie-going affinity. Duh.

So I figure I'll only recap the months-that-were by relating the performances of one movie to another: inflation and changing economics in Hollywood will probably render these numbers meaningless in a couple years, but the relative grosses of different movies is a good indicator of contemporary taste, if nothing else.

1. Staying Power

3:10 to Yuma has to feel good about its long-term chances. It opened with a modest $14 million, but never dropped more than 36% week to week, which is pretty extraordinary, no matter the release pattern.

Consider this: 3:10 and Shoot 'Em Up both opened on September 7th- Shoot 'Em Up pulled in a lower than expected $5.7 m. But while 3:10 only took modest hits and stayed in the top five all month long, Shoot 'Em Up dropped 54, 69, and 80 percent in consecutive weeks, and will probably stop being tracked before October's out with a meager $17 million.

Hopefully James Mangold's winning western will continue to stay around this fall, and make a Million Dollar Baby-style push over $100 million after Oscar nominations are announced.
2. The Game Plan vs. The Kingdom

I wasn't really sure which one of these to root for last weekend, which is to say I was rooting for neither, but America has decided: we'd rather see The Rock have an allergic reaction to strawberries than see some hypothetical Saudi Arabian terrorists get blown up. The Game Plan made $22 m to The Kingdom's $17 m. This almost makes me feel better, in a way.

Also, as I said I love b.o.m. for reference, but they employ the worst professional film critic I have ever read on the internet. Ever. Most of the reviews for The Kingdom felt uneasy about the sort of xenophobic, country-full-of-terrorists undertones, but this guy (Scott Holleran) thinks it wasn't racist enough. The title of his review? "The Kingdom: Action Blaster Suggests Osama was Right."

3. Good Luck Chuck opened higher than Stardust

Yep. And people ask me why I'm an atheist.

Other than that, people liked zombies, and sort of liked Jodie Foster shooting people, but September is traditionally a slow month, I hear. A bunch of award hopefuls did okay on a handful of screens, but October will be the big test, when everything goes wide.

The Fly-Over States

I live in Milwaukee. In high school, I was all "I can't wait till I blow this one horse town!" But now, I'm so fond of it and used to its Portland-like, laid back rhythms that anytime I make the hour drive to Chicago, I freak the hell out: narrow streets, taxicabs that look like police-cars, hot dog vendors! My god, man, no one can live at that speed!

So unless I want to finally make it to see In the Valley of Elah, or force myself to see something I don't give a rat's ass about, I have no movies to see right now. What about Friday, you ask? Well, I haven't seen Elizabeth, so I'm not going to pay money for Elizabeth With a Vengeance*, and I'm not seeing The Seeker, because I'm not a proponent of ruining beloved books. And if you think I'm even considering seeing The Heartbreak Kid, obviously you just found this webpage by Googling that title.

(That reminds me- I liked There's Something About Mary okay and all, but aren't the Farrelys a little bummed that they've had not one other movie worth mentioning in previews since then? That was nine years ago, people. Nine. That's like calling Steven Soderbergh "the director of Out of Sight." Great film, but he's had a little bit of success since.)

So I have to wait until the 12th for anything I'm excited about. But here's my point- Michael Clayton (Clooney! Gilroy! Wilkinson! The androgynous villainy of Tilda Swinton!) is opening in 15 theaters on Friday as well. But how many of those fifteen aren't on one coast or the other? One. Just one AMC, in Chicago. If you don't believe me, look at that lonely red triangle on this imdb map.

What gives? Would it kill people to send one print out to other major cities with an arts scene? And what's with the low theater roll-out anyway? In LA, there are people who this weekend can go see The Darjeeling Limited, Lust, Caution, Michael Clayton, Across the Universe, or The Assassination of Jesse James, but will probably choose to stay home and pick their noses (or see The Heartbreak Kid and pick their noses. Zing!).

I'd love to see any of those films, but I'm stuck waiting another week and a half for most of them, and an additional week for Darjeeling. Such is life in the Midwest, I suppose.


* turns out the new Elizabeth is actually on the 12th as well. The third wide release this Friday? The Jennifer Lopez-produced Feel the Noise. I can't even make fun of this one. The trailer does it all for me.

The Pre-Fall Oscars

Or, the movies and roles that the academy better damn well not forget about. Every year there are numerous Oscar season previews: The Onion A.V. Club just came up with a good one, but I haven't seen any of those movies, and I couldn't speculate on their chances.

Instead, I decided to come up with the major nominations I'd submit if the awards were on September first. What are the best movies and performances released before "awards season"?

Best Supporting Actress

Olympia Dukakis, Away From Her
Laura Morante, Moliere
Michelle Pfeiffer, Hairspray
Adrienne Shelley, Waitress
Maggie Smith, Becoming Jane

I'll admit that this category was pretty thin- I haven't even seen Hairspray, but I hear that Pfeiffer's getting some buzz. Maggie Smith puts in a similar bitchy turn in a different context, but I gave her the lifetime achievement nod, really. Adrienne Shelley's tragic death proabably still won't push her film to any more prestigious nominations, as it's just too cute in the end, but I decided she deserve's some respect for playing a wallflower friend in her last directorial effort. Olympia Dukakis has an Oscar already, and really brings a much needed cynicism to a moving film. But it's Laura Morante for the win, as she really keeps the Moliere biopic from becoming a farce.

Best Supporting Actor

Robert De Niro, Stardust
Robert Downey Jr., Zodiac
James McAvoy, Becoming Jane
Gary Oldman, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Seve Zahn, Rescue Dawn


Robert De Niro plays a wopsy, cross-dressing, flying pirate: enough said. Downey Jr. makes you wish all of Zodiac had followed him instead of Jake Gyllenhaal's cartooonist. Gary Oldman is the best part of a series that's growing in acting gravitas in leaps and bounds, and James McAvoy continues breaking hearts with aplomb. But for my money, Steve Zahn is the one guy that should be among the five nominees in February, no matter what else comes out- he's pure desperation as the less willful friend of a prison-of-war camp escapee.

Best Actress

Julie Christie, Away From Her
Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose
Anne Hathway, Becoming Jane
Angelina Jolie, A Mighty Heart
Keri Russell, Waitress

So it's been a slow year for leading actress as well- I had to include Cotillard and Jolie as likely candidates, even though I haven't seen the films in question. Keri Russell finally sheds the WB Network classification in Waitress, and Anne Hathaway is pretty solid in yet another author biopic. But if you've been reading this blog through its short history, you had to know I'm already giving this Oscar to Julie Christie in Away From Her.

Best Actor

Christian Bale, Rescue Dawn
Romain Duris, Moliere
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, The Lookout
Gordon Pinsent, Away From Her
Adam Sandler, Reign Over Me

Yeah, that's right: Adam Sandler- I still have no idea why that film was puched back from last December (to qualify for the most recent Oscars) to March. It turns out he can act, when we wants to apparently. Duris is more grandiose as the famed satirist than I would have expected, given his deer in headlights previous roles in movies like L'Auberge Espagnole. Gordon-Levitt continues his evolution into the relative Pacino to Ryan Gosling's De Niro. But it all comes down to a tough call between my man Christian Bale, and Gordon Pinsent in my favorite film of the year. I'm tempted to say Pinsent just for his awesome voice, but I say this should be Bale's year when all is said and done. By a hair.

Best Picture

Away From Her
Once
Reign Over Me
Rescue Dawn
Zodiac

Yeah, I can't really see a low-budget, under the radar film like Once being nominated, either. But it's honestly as good as anything else I saw this year so far.

As for what I pick to win, do you really need to ask? Did you know it recently won big at the Director's Guild of Canada Awards? That's a homer pick, but still. Also, did you know it came out on DVD on September 11th? You should buy it. Seriously, you should probably start heading to the store right now.

Alas

So sorry my reading public, but I saw no movies this weekend, and have scant time for anything worthwhile today- if you read this blog for the next three months, by then I'll have graduated and will probably be unemployed, and the content will skyrocket in frequency.

Tomorrow I have an excellent post planned about pre-awards season movies that the Oscars better damn well not forget about, but probably will.

Until then, feel free to comment about my lack of professionalism.