Best Original Song Oscar- What Happened?

One of the traditionally most ridiculous categories to predict, beyond the short films, is the Best Original Song Oscar.

The big complaint this year is that three songs from Enchanted got nominated. Now, I understand that Alan Menken has history on his side: eight wins for Disney standards like "Under the Sea," "A Whole New World," and "Colors of The Wind" from The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and Pocahontas, respectively. So I actually went to YouTube and checked out the three songs. "So Close" is okay- kind of a cheese-ball ballad that really feels dated to me, but I could see why it's nominated, at least in a year with a Randy Newman Pixar song or something. But both "That's How You Know" and "Happy Working Song" are complete pieces of fluff- pale imitations of earlier Disney musical songs that are absolutely nothing special.

The August Rush song, "Raise It Up," is nice and soulfull- but honestly some of the after-school rap lyrics are honestly cringe inducing. Also, children singing is very hit or miss for me.

So here are my choices, from the original list of 59, for what I'd vote for.

"Do You Feel Me" - Diane Warren (perf. by Anthony Hamilton)
from American Gangster



Randomly sung during a nightclub scene in Ridley Scott's all-but overlooked crime drama, this song left an immediate impression- it could have been any random seventies cover, but Diane Warren (an Oscar song giant herself) captured the soul of the era, and Anthony Hamilton delivers it. No offense to Amy Adams' singing voice, but come on.

"My Hands Are Shaking" - Sondre Lerche
from Dan In Real Life



If I had known that Norwegian troubadour Sondre Lerche composed the score and wrote several songs for Dan in Real Life, I probably would have gotten off my ass and seen it. As it is, you shouldn't have to be a former Beatle to get an Oscar nomination for a pop song.

"Pop! Goes My Heart" - Andrew Wyatt (perf. by Wyatt and hugh Grant)
from Music and Lyrics



Good song? Yeah, it's cheesy and captures the era. But mostly, how awesome would it be to see this performed at the Oscars? (assuming there is an Oscars).

"Guaranteed" - Eddie Vedder
from Into the Wild



Usually I'm not the biggest Eddie Vedder fan, but this seems to fit the mood of the story perfectly. What's with the Academy not liking pop stars anyway? This getting the shaft, after winning the Golden Globe, is pretty strange on the heels of both Vedder's and Johnny Greenwood's late-breaking disqualifications for Best Score.

And finally, the only one of the academy's five I agree with:

"Falling Slowly"- Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
from Once



Curiously, this song seems like it shouldn't have been nominated, as per the Academy's bitchy rules (it was written well before the film, and even released on Hansard and Irglova's "The Swell Season"). But as long as the voters were ignorant enough of it to nominate it, there's no way it should lose.

I would be well more pissed than any other Oscar fiasco (including Crash over Brokeback Mountain, Titanic over L. A. Confidential, anything) if "Falling Slowly" doesn't win the statue.

Whither Dane Cook?

Dane Cook. Even just seeing his name in print is annoying now.

I used to be a big fan. My friend Kyle burned me “Harmful If Swallowed,” Cook’s first album, a couple years ago and I was suitably impressed. Then the phenomenon that was his “Retaliation” album swept me up- I friended Dane Cook on Myspace, I bought “Retaliation” in a store, and I actually watched Jay Leno (ugh) to catch a Dane Cook appearance.

But then, his movie career happened.

Dane Cook’s mass appeal is mostly due to the fact that he’s onstage saying ridiculous things, and putting on a pretty ridiculous, overexcited frat boy persona, but you always get the feeling that he’s in on it- it’s funny because he’s only joking. Like when the wiseasses from my generation use old slang like "that's the cat's pajamas!" ironically. It wouldn't be funny if we really meant it.

One of the funniest bits from “Retalition” is a joke where Cook says that to spice up a party, you should defecate on the coats in the bedroom, if only for the moment when someone finally notices and comes in to say “Someone sh*t on the coats!” But then not only did Cook’s “Tourgasm” tv series identify him as the kind of person who actually does sh*t on random things, he started to choose movie roles that also appealed to the most lowbrow, unimaginative senses of humor, without acknowledging how ridiculous they are, like his stage act does.

So to clarify the difference here, there’s raunchiness with real intelligence behind it (think Apatow movies), and then there’s just plain stupidity. Dane Cook became famous for the former, and now it just seems like he’s cashing in his movie career for the latter.

And I’m sorry, but he’s really had no better offers? Here’s Cook’s post-“Retaliation” film career: one good, crazy-Belushi-type-role for him (Waiting), one film directed by someone who wrote Sorority Boys that co-starred Jessica Simpson (Employee of the Month), a movie with Kevin Costner in it (Mr. Brooks)- never a good idea, and Good Luck Chuck, which is helmed by Brett Ratner protégé Mark Helfrich. Yeah, that’s right. I used the phrase “Brett Rattner protégé.” That’s never a good sign.

His next movie is Dan in Real Life, which costars Steve Carell is directed by someone who’s actually reputable, Peter Hedges of Pieces of April fame. So I’m definitely waiting for Rotten Tomatoes on that one with a glimmer of hope (though the Trailer Voice Guy freaking kills me in this trailer for it). And the good news for Dane Cook is that studio executives don’t seem to realize how sick people are of him, so he’ll get plenty of more chances before he fades into obscurity.

In fact, imdb.com lists him as the lead in the new Howard Deutch movie! Who’s Howard Deutch, you ask? He’s only the director of Grumpier Old Men, The Odd Couple II, and The Whole Ten Yards! So look forward to the annoying tv spots for that crappy Dane Cook movie next year.