Beowulf 3D Review

Hope everyone had a pleasant Thanksgiving- I spent mine in North Carolina getting stuffed and asked what I'm planning to do after graduation.

Before the holiday, though, I drove to New Berlin, Wisconsin (which is pronounced "New BERlin," instead of "New berLIN," which would make too much sense), where the state's only 3D Digital Projection screen is housed, to see the latest in CGI technology. Robert Zemeckis's second motion-capture picture, after The Polar Express, probably still leaves a little bit to be desired in terms of Uncanny Valley-ish humanoid characters, but for the monsters and epic scale of Beowulf, it worked just fine for me.

Not to mention that it was the first 3D film I've seen, and it was awesome. Spears coming right at your eyes! Body parts flying past the screen! Hell, even the company logos at the beginning were cool. I'm not sure if 3D is "the future of motion pictures," as people seem to be heralding it, but it's definitely worth the $2 extra every now and then.

The story, adapted from the anonymous poem by Roger Avary and Neil Gaiman (!), takes plenty of liberties with the plot, but remains true to its majestic spirit. Ray Winstone voices/motion-captures the titular hero, a voyager who comes to Anthony Hopkins' monster ridden-kingdom to kick some ass and takes some names. Crispin Glover lends his screaming to the gutted-fish version of the monster Grendel, and in the least successful bit of stunt-casting for me, Angelina Jolie shows up mostly digitally nude as Grendel's mother, who has become a temptress and usurper in the film, instead of just a demon of the water.

The plot sort of expects you to find the golden-trimmed, sultry and with a tail version of her to be the most desirable thing ever, which I didn't, but if it takes a sort of naked Angelina Jolie to get people to go see a Neil Gaiman written film, then why not? The temptation her character brings does add a dynamic element to the character of Beowulf not present in the poem- he's more or less perfect and invulnerable, but in the film the choices he makes define him.

In the midst of such braggadaccio, there's a lot of cheesiness, the height of which is a minutes-long sequence of a naked Beowulf conveniently having his naughty bits covered by various items in the foreground, which I think was relatively intentional, if only to make fun of the ratings board. But much like 300, it hardly matters when battles start to go down.

When to See it: Before it Leaves Theaters